You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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