I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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