Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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