Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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