normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
