I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
