It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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