How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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