Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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