Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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