You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
