Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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