I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize