i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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