Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
