I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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