girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize