You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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