Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
