FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize