Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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