...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
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If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
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I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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