we have pet lesbian snakes
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
