The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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