small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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