How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
