So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
