I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
