don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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