I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize