i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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