I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize