O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
