ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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