How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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