We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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