All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.