Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time