I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wish they made helmets for livers.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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