just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize