Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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