so explain again why im purple
no
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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