Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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