Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
