Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
