if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
