Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(541): View more from Oregon

Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(541): Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour. http://tfl.nu/t7z3

Replies (23) Good night (507) Bad night (2546) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino http://tfl.nu/qzo5

Replies (8) Good night (567) Bad night (2865) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(239): View more from Florida

they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(239): they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application http://tfl.nu/aq16

Replies (7) Good night (3516) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs. http://tfl.nu/w8zn

Replies (16) Good night (4735) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(518): View more from New York

I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(518): I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon. http://tfl.nu/pj69

Replies (9) Good night (1123) Bad night (3327) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(210): View more from Texas

We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(210): We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this? http://tfl.nu/a3d2

Replies (11) Good night (2724) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside. http://tfl.nu/nyqa

Replies (2) Good night (1721) Bad night (718)
Favorite
(706): View more from Georgia

Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(706): Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out http://tfl.nu/wj5z

Replies (31) Good night (1600) Bad night (5751)
Favorite
(913): View more from Kansas

Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(913): Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen... http://tfl.nu/fq09

Replies (15) Good night (841) Bad night (2046) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild. http://tfl.nu/q7pb

Replies (4) Good night (1414) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(716): View more from New York

my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(716): my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question http://tfl.nu/fvr6

Replies (7) Good night (484) Bad night (845) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(806): View more from Texas

It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(806): It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there. http://tfl.nu/4q4i

Replies (7) Good night (316) Bad night (1229) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Wait does semen show up on blood tests?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): Wait does semen show up on blood tests? http://tfl.nu/pugn

Replies (25) Good night (409) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(416): View more from Toronto

BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(416): BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT. http://tfl.nu/cryj

Replies (5) Good night (657) Bad night (246) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(971): View more from Oregon

HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(971): HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY http://tfl.nu/i8rb

Replies (2) Good night (357) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: