last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
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I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
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bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face