I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.