Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
