there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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