Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
