I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?